It is not true what they say; that you must always be yourself. You must in fact never be yourself. Bury your sorrows, depression and anger deep deep down because once you expose that it’s game over for player one. Remain calm, cheerful and overly helpful. Don’t let the bastards grind you down. Smile. If feelings of depression begin to overwhelm you, cry it out at night, under the covers so your housemate can’t hear and preferably once your tinder date has left. Dress as if you have taste and if you don’t know how to do that, dress like everybody else. Get to know the latest music; every group with which you wish to associate has a particularly beloved genre. You get the over thirties still creaming over mellow indie or twenty somethings where any black music is good music, extra points if it has violent lyrics including the words ‘murder’, ‘guns’ or ‘nigga’. You wish to be liked but you have no cash? Not a problem. Just act as if you do. What’s rent when you could be sipping that five euro cappuccino in a swag coffee shop. You’ll gain street cred and a caffeine boost. Generally walk around looking as if you know what you’re doing and you have a place to go, even if that place is just your mother’s couch. Having that extra dosh is for sure a plus point if you can get it though (check daddy’s wallet). Get yourself a haircut, new sneakers and a Netflix account, that way you’ll be able to keep up with what people are talking about (it’s not that normal to bring up twentieth century literature in a conversation anymore turns out). Ask questions, that’s for free, just not awkward ones and not too enthusiastically, better to enquire than snoop, also better to appear nonchalant than genuinely interested.
Follow these guidelines and soon enough you’ll be the thing you always wanted to be; a likeable person.
The fatal flower is the perverted shy girl, the one you wouldn’t suspect. Under a soft exterior lies a complex being with an unyielding wildness, anchored to the earth by her humble nature and inexplicable dry humour. She is the femme of now, the modern woman who’s thoughts transcend through cultures and time.
Over the coming months let ‘La Fleur Fatale’ be your guide to the hidden insights and stories of a watchful woman’s eye navigating through the ‘European’ way of life. Struggles and mishaps ensue as life is embraced and the thorny introvert femme clammers for life’s answers. All possible subjects are covered from death to Kim Kardashian and from sisterhood to the perfect strawberry frappe.
U zag deze toch ook?
- The Story of the Double Chin
- White on Black
- A fable
- Killer Heels
- You are already your mother
- Jesus died for somebodies sins, probably mine
- The Belgium Blow
- The Politics of the Urinal
- That time you found me on the bathroom floor eating a kebab
- The luxury of love
- The road not taken
- How you have known me since 1857
- Bright Light
- The Billboard
- My beautiful friend
- The Great Aznavour Admirer
- How to spend your Thursday at the Hague.
- The Show Must Go On